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1. |
Sideshow (Denial Stage)
03:06
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Its two sides to every story
This is my story
I was in denial
Our relationship just two titles
I was sleeping next to my biggest rival
Didn't know that I was the sideshow oh
I was in denial
Our relationship just two titles
I was sleeping next to my biggest rival
Didn't know that I was the sideshow oh
To tell the truth fam I ain't even see it coming
I was in love this chick wasn't that cunning
I was running from reality of physicalities
That made me overlook and see if this she was for me
I dove right in and put her on a platform
Should a got a warm towel soaked my face with chloroform
My sworn enemy disguised she a shape-shifter
I carried most the weight should a been a powerlifter
Figured anything she wanted it was worth getting
I was a love-stricken fool for a Lil kitten
Funny how I didn't think this could happen
My niggaz from 4516 know I ain't just rapping
Letter to the past yea I done settled down
But looking at myself I wish I was YOU now
Fuck growing up maturity is overrated
These women talk the shit we talk but say they degraded
I was in denial
Our relationship just two titles
I was sleeping next to my biggest rival
Didn't know that I was the sideshow oh
I was in denial
Our relationship just two titles
I was sleeping next to my biggest rival
Didn't know that I was the sideshow oh
Hard to portray the image til you get home
But I was the image 24-7 long
Stay strong even though my heart on my sleeve
But I ain't switching up nothing going change me
Now my vision tuned I could see you miles away
Ignore the smear campaign and walk the other way
I could admit that I fell hard but it's a lesson
And I'm still straight way past your projection
I kept doing more to try to stay in your favor
Instead of helping I was feeding all your bad behavior
But you keep on pushing until my view clear
I'm looking for you but this new bitch appeared
Or was she there all the time and I was just blind
Make me think that you was just a figment of my mind
That I created tryna find bliss when I'm idle
I still paint her like a saint cause
I was in denial
Our relationship just two titles
I was sleeping next to my biggest rival
Didn't know that I was the sideshow oh
I was in denial
Our relationship just two titles
I was sleeping next to my biggest rival
Didn't know that I was the sideshow oh
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2. |
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Thinkin bout everything that took place
Sittin here thinkin that my 30's was a waste
Still tryna chase this dream
That I had for the last 20 years ain't got no team
Thought I had a ride or die but I had a ride and stop
Stop lyin tryna play innocent when you not
Rotting on the inside barely vibe when I hear a dope beat
And I REALLY hate me
For not bein built like the men that I know
Don't show emotions only ego
Empathetic and I really don't fit in
Bendin when I really don't agree within
Standin my ground more often made it worse
Shoulda never gave in cause yo feelings hurt
And I gotta heart but I really need a voice
Pissed cause I can't blame you for my...
CHOICE!
So I'm blaming myself
On the edge with myself
I'm destroying my mental health compelled by the heralds of hell to stay in my cell
So I'm blaming myself
On the edge with myself
The veil of darkness has already fell and she can't even tell that I'm blaming myself
Already feel like I’m doin this alone
Expressin myself in a fucked up tone
Only way you listen is when I talk loud
Never been an angry man but I am now
Dealin with reality how you act casually?
Focus on yourself instead of tellin me how to be
Now everybody else priority
Supporting them but you never support me
Lookin out from the stage at an empty show
The one I needed most is the one who didn’t show
I’m the asshole when I stop takin it
Fuck bein nice I’m tired of fakin it
Cakin it when I really should’ve stood my ground
Look like a clown everytime I back down
In the end you can only do what I allow
Balls out this shit ends...
RIGHT NOW!
So I'm blaming myself
On the edge with myself
I'm destroying my mental health compelled by the heralds of hell to stay in my cell
So I'm blaming myself
On the edge with myself
The veil of darkness has already fell and she can't even tell that I'm blaming myself
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3. |
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Lady Morgana
I'm under your spell
Lady Morgana
I'm not feeling well
Manipulation compensation for a past situation
Erasing mistakes you create a whole compilation
Condemnation is a double-edged sword
But you omit your bullshit from every situation
Neither one of us innocent but why I’m the only one paying penance
Don’t cut me off I let you talk lemme finish
Stick to the subject my past unforgiven
Been about you since the beginning
Back burner fam made sure she was winning
Never cut you off even when YOU was sinning
Your opinion the only one you defending
Front for them bitches you leave me in stitches
You put me on blast but don’t tell on yourself
I could do the same but I’m not compelled
To stoop down to that level I broke her spell
Lady Morgana
I'm under your spell
Lady Morgana
I'm not feeling well
Lady Morgana
I'm under your spell
Lady Morgana
I'm not feeling well
I chose me now I’m breaking the cycle
You say that you love me so how I'm your rival
Oops that's a typo I meant I’m your rifle
I take all the bullets you paint me as trifle
Like I’m hallucinating right in my face you really demonstrating
I’m not hating finally awakened logic
Burned that hex bag you had in my pocket
Don’t knock Mental health had to get help
But I stay stealth look like myself
On the outside if you had a Yelp
Write 5 stars bae I really hope you take flight
You right about the past but the past don’t change
Don’t got the same brain
So your opinion ain’t gospel to me
And you no apostle to crucify me
I’m likely just venting pretending and faking it til I make it
I hate it we breaking think cause I’m not caking
My heart is not shaken Morgana mistaken
Say that I’m heartless if I am it’s cause you stole my heart for your spell
Put another dagger in it not feeling well
Sending pieces back to my Mom in the mail
Feel trapped in a cell
No lights everyday I’m in a dark place
Fucked up but I still say I’m OK
In the world with a fake smile on my face
Tasting defeat cause I don’t feel complete but I’m stronger than that
Stand on my feet I don’t live on my knees
Not tryna compete let’s stick to the facts
Lady Morgana
I'm under your spell
Lady Morgana
I'm not feeling well
Lady Morgana
I'm under your spell
Lady Morgana
I'm not feeling well
Not making excuses for having an ego
I need you to feed it I should be your hero
You my queen we both been mean to each other
Maybe we should start from day zero
Everybody wanna say what's a real man
But I don't pay attention to the propaganda
Cause the ones saying it don't got a man
Or when they on change colors like a salamander
I want you Morgana I'm under your spell time to be real
Charmed me with your book of shadows how you feel
Let your guard down drop your force field
Your feelings is hurting and that's because of me
Own my history
But you need to own recognize your wrongs
Change your damn song can't get along
Lady Morgana
I'm under your spell
Lady Morgana
I'm not feeling well
Lady Morgana
I'm under your spell
Lady Morgana
I'm not feeling well
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4. |
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Last night...
...I had a conversation with myself
Yeah.
And I answered myself
I needed a reality check...
...from myself
Lookin at myself I'm disgusted
Fucked up my reflection can't be trusted
Dusted my old self off tryna be the old me
Find that I'm blind no identity
Can't see the pain in my eyes I'm adept at creatin illusions
Provin a point while the world keep moving I feel like they laughin that's why I keep losin
Tryna measure up to they standards when in reality I passed theirs a long time ago
I don't know why I care so damn much but I'm tough on myself cause I won't grow
And I got the option to make it happen for real don't even know how to feel
Cause I let the world think for me insecurity on display I may as well kneel
Thinkin what am I doin' ashamed to show loved ones that I got talent
Choosing to promo to people that I really don't know in my hometown not tryna do shows
Bro I swear you don't know play it off good when I'm around people who don't know me
My genre a secret to associates I don't interact with...phony
If I'm bein real with myself then I gotta tell myself bitch you betta stand up
Face the world like tha man that you tell your son that you want him to be.
Nigga Man Up
Chin up to the sky be arrogant to the bystanders this your story
Your timeline, your incline or decline, yo show nigga you Maury
You the one who say you wanna be so great so why you act so mediocre?
You ain't even got started but you givin up settlin do you want it to be over?
Put your armor on give it a hundred percent till this shit pay the rent
Naysayer's salaries wouldn't make a dent in your pockets wouldn't even cover the lint
So what you spent two years on a chase that ended in separation
You want this? Kiss your old life goodbye wave when the train leave the station
Freebasin on my own product I'm that good but I'm still pacin
Violatin my fan's motivation cause I'm search of affirmation
I'm looking into the darkness but I'm not afraid of what I gotta face now I feel the RAGE!
In the darkness without LEDs that ironically dim my atmosphere
Although fountains that bring life are near only lava and volcanoes re-appear
I steer clear of obstacles, but they re-position themselves as soon as I make a move
Gargoyles my mind's choice of illusion stand-ins for people who disapprove
Lord knows my feet are weary but I continue to press-on
Breaking through the silcone gel that seals my lifelong confessions
My Stetson tilted on a rainy corner unnoticed because I've never been seen
By circles one, two, or three I was outside searching for the One Ring
Hurtling through the void of civilization don't feel like I'm its resident
Chained to Introverted Island a prisoner and my bail cost is confidence
Y'all call a man weak when he expresses his feelings...
I call that shit being human
I think if you don't agree...
You need to check your own insecurity
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5. |
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I feel so trapped these memories won't fade
I keep thinking where did it go wrong
But I gotta face all my demons I can't get away
Forgive Yourself for accepting it and move on
The universe's way of being cruel is when you still got love for the one who made you look like a damn fool
No matter what they do you forgive and keep movin and all the time they could only see you as a tool
When you seen who they really was behind that image they project to hide they insecurity
And you disappointed more than hurt cause you support the jerk and they dreams priority over your own needs
Hearts bleed cause you seeing what you want instead of reality you see the opposite
Hypnotized by potential that you can see but this version that you got is a ruff composite
Of an unfinished self-portrait that you not painting accept that the artist may never finish
You dedicated to a shell of memories and it's hard to see when you blind don't reminiscence
Take the red pill and see the real world for the first time all the time that you spent wasn't wasted
It's a lesson learned and I don't feel burned earned the right to be loved shouldn't never have to chase it
I could taste revenge that I wanna get but don't get satisfaction from her hurting
It feels worse cause I thought I healed in between steps 4 and 5 but old feelings still lurking
Take a step back re-assess then decide that I need to leave but my loyalty
Is a weakness even though hers wasn't there and I know it cause it's rare that I felt like royalty
Hope ya story be good in the end and your friends motivate you to reach for the stars
Avoid distractions push you up past where they are I no longer live behind bars
I feel so trapped these memories won't fade
I keep thinking where did it go wrong
But I gotta face all my demons I can't get away
Forgive Yourself for accepting it and move on
I feel so trapped these memories won't fade
I keep thinking where did it go wrong
But I gotta face all my demons I can't get away
Forgive Yourself for accepting it and move on
It's hard to escape when you been here a long time you not innocent but didn't do the crime
At first fingers-point but then you realize you your own judge and you giving yourself time
Chain gotta crack but it ain't broke yet you got false hope but you ain't smoked yet
When you deep in your thoughts you going see the logic let it go and do not resurrect
Compromised who I was for a long time lived in darkness but all the time I'm still learning
But I had to choose to see the lesson for myself even when I got help still felt myself burning
Wondering what could I do different at first I accepted all the blame I allowed
Myself to accept bad behavior I realized it took two to get where we at now
Feel like I released all my stored semen time ta forgive myself for this self treason
See the reason why you projecting self-inspection is the first step to beat your demons
But you gotta wanna make the first move as long as you don't you the only one lose
I accept your apology but I held the door open for years you just had to walk through
I don't hate you hope you find peace and release all that anger just let it go
We both did the best that we could with the tools available so I'd rather walk down the high road
I'm thankful for the time we had together but we gotta move on time to leave
Hopefully you accept that cherish the memories both walk away with maturity
I feel so trapped these memories won't fade
I keep thinking where did it go wrong
But I gotta face all my demons I can't get away
Forgive Yourself for accepting it and move on
I feel so trapped these memories won't fade
I keep thinking where did it go wrong
But I gotta face all my demons I can't get away
Forgive Yourself for accepting it and move on
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Ambush Vin Gary, Indiana
Vin firmly believes in the transformative power of Science Fiction. Through his music and the immersive realm of Sci-Fi Music, he sparks a flame within his listeners, inspiring them to conquer self-doubt, embrace their inner heroes, and shape their own destinies. It's a call to action to reshape our existence, fuel our imagination, and create a better future for ourselves and the world around us! ... more
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