Shakespeare

by Ambush Vin

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1.
Its two sides to every story This is my story I was in denial Our relationship just two titles I was sleeping next to my biggest rival Didn't know that I was the sideshow oh I was in denial Our relationship just two titles I was sleeping next to my biggest rival Didn't know that I was the sideshow oh To tell the truth fam I ain't even see it coming I was in love this chick wasn't that cunning I was running from reality of physicalities That made me overlook and see if this she was for me I dove right in and put her on a platform Should a got a warm towel soaked my face with chloroform My sworn enemy disguised she a shape-shifter I carried most the weight should a been a powerlifter Figured anything she wanted it was worth getting I was a love-stricken fool for a Lil kitten Funny how I didn't think this could happen My niggaz from 4516 know I ain't just rapping Letter to the past yea I done settled down But looking at myself I wish I was YOU now Fuck growing up maturity is overrated These women talk the shit we talk but say they degraded I was in denial Our relationship just two titles I was sleeping next to my biggest rival Didn't know that I was the sideshow oh I was in denial Our relationship just two titles I was sleeping next to my biggest rival Didn't know that I was the sideshow oh Hard to portray the image til you get home But I was the image 24-7 long Stay strong even though my heart on my sleeve But I ain't switching up nothing going change me Now my vision tuned I could see you miles away Ignore the smear campaign and walk the other way I could admit that I fell hard but it's a lesson And I'm still straight way past your projection I kept doing more to try to stay in your favor Instead of helping I was feeding all your bad behavior But you keep on pushing until my view clear I'm looking for you but this new bitch appeared Or was she there all the time and I was just blind Make me think that you was just a figment of my mind That I created tryna find bliss when I'm idle I still paint her like a saint cause I was in denial Our relationship just two titles I was sleeping next to my biggest rival Didn't know that I was the sideshow oh I was in denial Our relationship just two titles I was sleeping next to my biggest rival Didn't know that I was the sideshow oh
2.
Thinkin bout everything that took place Sittin here thinkin that my 30's was a waste Still tryna chase this dream That I had for the last 20 years ain't got no team Thought I had a ride or die but I had a ride and stop Stop lyin tryna play innocent when you not Rotting on the inside barely vibe when I hear a dope beat And I REALLY hate me For not bein built like the men that I know Don't show emotions only ego Empathetic and I really don't fit in Bendin when I really don't agree within Standin my ground more often made it worse Shoulda never gave in cause yo feelings hurt And I gotta heart but I really need a voice Pissed cause I can't blame you for my... CHOICE! So I'm blaming myself On the edge with myself I'm destroying my mental health compelled by the heralds of hell to stay in my cell So I'm blaming myself On the edge with myself The veil of darkness has already fell and she can't even tell that I'm blaming myself Already feel like I’m doin this alone Expressin myself in a fucked up tone Only way you listen is when I talk loud Never been an angry man but I am now Dealin with reality how you act casually? Focus on yourself instead of tellin me how to be Now everybody else priority Supporting them but you never support me Lookin out from the stage at an empty show The one I needed most is the one who didn’t show I’m the asshole when I stop takin it Fuck bein nice I’m tired of fakin it Cakin it when I really should’ve stood my ground Look like a clown everytime I back down In the end you can only do what I allow Balls out this shit ends... RIGHT NOW! So I'm blaming myself On the edge with myself I'm destroying my mental health compelled by the heralds of hell to stay in my cell So I'm blaming myself On the edge with myself The veil of darkness has already fell and she can't even tell that I'm blaming myself
3.
Lady Morgana I'm under your spell Lady Morgana I'm not feeling well Manipulation compensation for a past situation Erasing mistakes you create a whole compilation Condemnation is a double-edged sword But you omit your bullshit from every situation Neither one of us innocent but why I’m the only one paying penance Don’t cut me off I let you talk lemme finish Stick to the subject my past unforgiven Been about you since the beginning Back burner fam made sure she was winning Never cut you off even when YOU was sinning Your opinion the only one you defending Front for them bitches you leave me in stitches You put me on blast but don’t tell on yourself I could do the same but I’m not compelled To stoop down to that level I broke her spell Lady Morgana I'm under your spell Lady Morgana I'm not feeling well Lady Morgana I'm under your spell Lady Morgana I'm not feeling well I chose me now I’m breaking the cycle You say that you love me so how I'm your rival Oops that's a typo I meant I’m your rifle I take all the bullets you paint me as trifle Like I’m hallucinating right in my face you really demonstrating I’m not hating finally awakened logic Burned that hex bag you had in my pocket Don’t knock Mental health had to get help But I stay stealth look like myself On the outside if you had a Yelp Write 5 stars bae I really hope you take flight You right about the past but the past don’t change Don’t got the same brain So your opinion ain’t gospel to me And you no apostle to crucify me I’m likely just venting pretending and faking it til I make it I hate it we breaking think cause I’m not caking My heart is not shaken Morgana mistaken Say that I’m heartless if I am it’s cause you stole my heart for your spell Put another dagger in it not feeling well Sending pieces back to my Mom in the mail Feel trapped in a cell No lights everyday I’m in a dark place Fucked up but I still say I’m OK In the world with a fake smile on my face Tasting defeat cause I don’t feel complete but I’m stronger than that Stand on my feet I don’t live on my knees Not tryna compete let’s stick to the facts Lady Morgana I'm under your spell Lady Morgana I'm not feeling well Lady Morgana I'm under your spell Lady Morgana I'm not feeling well Not making excuses for having an ego I need you to feed it I should be your hero You my queen we both been mean to each other Maybe we should start from day zero Everybody wanna say what's a real man But I don't pay attention to the propaganda Cause the ones saying it don't got a man Or when they on change colors like a salamander I want you Morgana I'm under your spell time to be real Charmed me with your book of shadows how you feel Let your guard down drop your force field Your feelings is hurting and that's because of me Own my history But you need to own recognize your wrongs Change your damn song can't get along Lady Morgana I'm under your spell Lady Morgana I'm not feeling well Lady Morgana I'm under your spell Lady Morgana I'm not feeling well
4.
Last night... ...I had a conversation with myself Yeah. And I answered myself I needed a reality check... ...from myself Lookin at myself I'm disgusted Fucked up my reflection can't be trusted Dusted my old self off tryna be the old me Find that I'm blind no identity Can't see the pain in my eyes I'm adept at creatin illusions Provin a point while the world keep moving I feel like they laughin that's why I keep losin Tryna measure up to they standards when in reality I passed theirs a long time ago I don't know why I care so damn much but I'm tough on myself cause I won't grow And I got the option to make it happen for real don't even know how to feel Cause I let the world think for me insecurity on display I may as well kneel Thinkin what am I doin' ashamed to show loved ones that I got talent Choosing to promo to people that I really don't know in my hometown not tryna do shows Bro I swear you don't know play it off good when I'm around people who don't know me My genre a secret to associates I don't interact with...phony If I'm bein real with myself then I gotta tell myself bitch you betta stand up Face the world like tha man that you tell your son that you want him to be. Nigga Man Up Chin up to the sky be arrogant to the bystanders this your story Your timeline, your incline or decline, yo show nigga you Maury You the one who say you wanna be so great so why you act so mediocre? You ain't even got started but you givin up settlin do you want it to be over? Put your armor on give it a hundred percent till this shit pay the rent Naysayer's salaries wouldn't make a dent in your pockets wouldn't even cover the lint So what you spent two years on a chase that ended in separation You want this? Kiss your old life goodbye wave when the train leave the station Freebasin on my own product I'm that good but I'm still pacin Violatin my fan's motivation cause I'm search of affirmation I'm looking into the darkness but I'm not afraid of what I gotta face now I feel the RAGE! In the darkness without LEDs that ironically dim my atmosphere Although fountains that bring life are near only lava and volcanoes re-appear I steer clear of obstacles, but they re-position themselves as soon as I make a move Gargoyles my mind's choice of illusion stand-ins for people who disapprove Lord knows my feet are weary but I continue to press-on Breaking through the silcone gel that seals my lifelong confessions My Stetson tilted on a rainy corner unnoticed because I've never been seen By circles one, two, or three I was outside searching for the One Ring Hurtling through the void of civilization don't feel like I'm its resident Chained to Introverted Island a prisoner and my bail cost is confidence Y'all call a man weak when he expresses his feelings... I call that shit being human I think if you don't agree... You need to check your own insecurity
5.
I feel so trapped these memories won't fade I keep thinking where did it go wrong But I gotta face all my demons I can't get away Forgive Yourself for accepting it and move on The universe's way of being cruel is when you still got love for the one who made you look like a damn fool No matter what they do you forgive and keep movin and all the time they could only see you as a tool When you seen who they really was behind that image they project to hide they insecurity And you disappointed more than hurt cause you support the jerk and they dreams priority over your own needs Hearts bleed cause you seeing what you want instead of reality you see the opposite Hypnotized by potential that you can see but this version that you got is a ruff composite Of an unfinished self-portrait that you not painting accept that the artist may never finish You dedicated to a shell of memories and it's hard to see when you blind don't reminiscence Take the red pill and see the real world for the first time all the time that you spent wasn't wasted It's a lesson learned and I don't feel burned earned the right to be loved shouldn't never have to chase it I could taste revenge that I wanna get but don't get satisfaction from her hurting It feels worse cause I thought I healed in between steps 4 and 5 but old feelings still lurking Take a step back re-assess then decide that I need to leave but my loyalty Is a weakness even though hers wasn't there and I know it cause it's rare that I felt like royalty Hope ya story be good in the end and your friends motivate you to reach for the stars Avoid distractions push you up past where they are I no longer live behind bars I feel so trapped these memories won't fade I keep thinking where did it go wrong But I gotta face all my demons I can't get away Forgive Yourself for accepting it and move on I feel so trapped these memories won't fade I keep thinking where did it go wrong But I gotta face all my demons I can't get away Forgive Yourself for accepting it and move on It's hard to escape when you been here a long time you not innocent but didn't do the crime At first fingers-point but then you realize you your own judge and you giving yourself time Chain gotta crack but it ain't broke yet you got false hope but you ain't smoked yet When you deep in your thoughts you going see the logic let it go and do not resurrect Compromised who I was for a long time lived in darkness but all the time I'm still learning But I had to choose to see the lesson for myself even when I got help still felt myself burning Wondering what could I do different at first I accepted all the blame I allowed Myself to accept bad behavior I realized it took two to get where we at now Feel like I released all my stored semen time ta forgive myself for this self treason See the reason why you projecting self-inspection is the first step to beat your demons But you gotta wanna make the first move as long as you don't you the only one lose I accept your apology but I held the door open for years you just had to walk through I don't hate you hope you find peace and release all that anger just let it go We both did the best that we could with the tools available so I'd rather walk down the high road I'm thankful for the time we had together but we gotta move on time to leave Hopefully you accept that cherish the memories both walk away with maturity I feel so trapped these memories won't fade I keep thinking where did it go wrong But I gotta face all my demons I can't get away Forgive Yourself for accepting it and move on I feel so trapped these memories won't fade I keep thinking where did it go wrong But I gotta face all my demons I can't get away Forgive Yourself for accepting it and move on

about

Have you ever experienced any type of loss? Whether it's divorce, a death, or a job loss, the path to healing isn't as clear, or easy, to most of us as it appears to be. For men in particular, we are expected not to express our emotions. To do so, we are told, is feminine and a total disconnect from our manhood.

In essence, the world is telling you to compromise your own mental health by holding everything in! There are so many men that end up in bad situations, because when they finally let out everything that they had been holding in for so long, it came out all wrong.

But, what if I told you that you can share your feelings AND still retain your masculinity? That's why I created the Shakespeare. I hope that my personal journey on each song through the Five Stages of Grief will help guide you to the ultimate choice: Your Happiness.

credits

released October 2, 2020

All tracks written by A. Gibson and recorded at The Warlock Laboratory

Sideshow beat produced by Amp on the Track
Black Mirror beat produced by Systematik
Lady Morgana beat produced by Girl Next Door
Unconfident beat produced by FOCZ
Alcatraz beat produced by Ceasar Beats

Mixed and Mastered by Jason Pamon
Artwork by Laura Liza

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about

Ambush Vin Gary, Indiana

Ambush Vin scoffed at the notion that urban geeks can’t be taken as credible rap artists outside of niche genres, such as Nerdcore. He created Darth Prefectus, the original Star Wars-based track that urbanized The Force into a dark and grimy symphony.

His music became a reflection of the way he lived: urban and nerdy. This reflection led Vin to describe his brand of Hip-Hop as Sci-Fi Music.
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